I guess when the universe speaks...

What can I say, A LOT has changed since my plan to open my own business came along last year. I was shooting for June as an opening date... but come early December (when we found out a child was on the way) we decided that this plan gets put on the back shelf. We revisit the potential now and again but since I am expecting in about 3 months and all build out and the business dealings would have to be mostly me... well that's not happening, not anytime soon anyway. Not to mention that I have seen book stores like Reading Frenzy disappear, with the promise to pop up somewhere in the future. Then there is Counter Media who lost half their space do to rent hikes and lack of sales. While I think that my idea was a little more specialized and focused than these book stores and has the potential to do well, it was still something to think about, opening a small business in today's retail world. 

I have spent the last 7 months working with great, hilarious people in a commercial picture framing warehouse. It was a nice mental break, in that; I was not responsible for One God Damn Thing except to finish what my boss told me to finish. But as a fully capable, problem solving, self sufficient human, getting told what to do on a daily basis and barely making enough to pay the bills at my age, gets old real fast. 

So I have come back around... re-evaluating my place in the tattoo world. Weighing my worth as a creative artist and whether I have what it takes to be an asset to the tattoo trade and not just another fucking idiot. Wondering if I have the discipline for only 3 years in ,give or take, to strive and do the work to be a better person and artist on a daily/weekly/yearly basis. I looked at my tattoos over and over again... the decent ones, the bad ones AND the one that got me a bad uncalled for review on yelp sending me on a self-conscious spiral down...leaving me feeling too sensitive for this part of the business, when most people would be like, "fuck that bitch" and let it roll.

I started in a top shop and maybe the expectation felt too great for me some days... but I learned fast and had some really great artists surrounding me to inspire and teach me on a daily basis... I do not regret one second of it. I worked hard for that opportunity and I left that shop with a wealth of knowledge and friends that I will be eternally and forever grateful for.

So here I am, 6 months knocked up and 7 to 8 months out of the game and I want to come back. I want knock on the tattoo gods door and beg mercy on my over-sensitive softy soul. I want to worship the Gods who came before and the ones that walk among us everyday...cause there is some pretty incredible shit going on in this business of tattoos and art. And while I am very schooled and well aware of the stupid cliche shit that happens at the other end of the spectrum, truth is, I miss my people.I miss this world. Stepping back from it all helped me gain a new perspective... everything seemed so huge and scary to me at the time. I could handle any other artist's client but talking to my own client... so much harder. Now all I do is look at other artist's paintings and other artist's tattoos, try to break it down into keeping it simple so that my brain understands it and can learn from their compositions, line weight, shading and color use. I have come a long way since the beginning. I feel more confident about things... I feel confident in my decision to work along Hawk at Sovereign. He and his wife Allison were also a very important part to my being able to do any of this... not to mention taking in an almost due preggers artist. Seriously, thank you. I am also fully aware and humbled by the fact that I have a very long way to go.


This new chapter I am about to write for myself will be full of ups and downs no doubt. This softy might even cry at times (behind closed doors of course)...
but between the spit up, puke and milk stains on my shirt and the ink stains on my skirts, I hope to be the best parent and best artist that I can possibly be.
So for now this blog changes and may even become humor filled writings about tattoo parents raising a child...cause I try to find the humor in most things. Or maybe it becomes nothing, as I may find myself too busy or exhausted to write.
Either way... much love and respect,
j-

Foundations of Business

Yesterday was the first day of my Foundations of Business course and it solidified a lot of things for me. First and foremost, that it's OK that I quit tattooing. It's been a struggle because so many people ask me why I quit. "You were doing so well... Give it a couple of years you will be rocking it" Naturally I am a people pleaser, so I kept thinking (and losing a little sleep) maybe they're right... maybe I gave up too soon. But every cell in my being says that this is where I belong... on this track that I am on.
For the first time in my life "I" am making the decisions on the direction in which I am faced and walking... putting in the work and being proud of every brick I am paving my way with.
I am grateful for all the opportunities I have taken advantage of up to this point and I plan on remaining grateful for any opportunity that may come my way. And the minute I feel I have gathered enough knowledge to help someone on their journey, I will not hesitate in doing so.
Things that I learned:
I am a people person: I really enjoyed meeting a new group of people yesterday, networking and talking about all their different ideas. I like working in groups to brainstorm. I realized that trying to work this all out on my own and alone got me face to face with a brick wall many times. Feeling of defeat before there was even a something to be defeated.
I think I could be good at this business thing: I am excited to understand the in's and out's a little more, not at all rolling my eyes at the prospect of having to deal with the business end of things. In fact, the complete opposite and ready to take on this way of thinking by storm. (Never thought this arty girl would be excited about this kind of thing)
This Mercy Corps course is one of the best things I have done in a while: I am really excited to make my idea/concept come to fruition. I recommend this course to anyone looking to gain a little more knowledge and perspective about any small business idea they have rolling around the brain or even to those who are a little further along. If you think about it, it's a small price to pay for "tools".
On an ending note, I am glad for the journey and the people I have met and encountered along the way. I would not even be considering this road if I were not surrounded by some of the most artistically talented people in the trade.

Much love and respect.
j-

Thanks to a friend...

And so I'll jump right in... cause like I said, "tired of sitting around just talking about it"
Signed up for this class today.
http://www.mercycorpsnw.org/what-we-do/foundations-business-course/
And now I make chicken stock... cause I am a fancy multitasking lady.
Thanks Kirsten for the link,
j-

oh shit, jobless.

This blog will be a chronicle of a journey and if it ends where I want it to end, then we'll have succeeded in making this blog segue into a business blog. And, if it doesn't end where I wanted it to end, well then, I hope I gave it a "God's honest shot".
I want to open an independent, niche bookstore/gallery. I have no fucking idea what I am doing. All I know is I have a love for books, tattoos, art and a knack at being good at pointing people in the right direction. So I imagine holes will be dug, walls will be hit, toes will be stepped on (including mine) but I will raise a glass (any alcohol substance will do) and toast to the hope that my defeatist ways do not get the best of me... procrastinator to an ending fault! 
As the story goes:
I quit my job as a tattooer for more than one reason but what it all boiled down to was, unhappiness. I was tired of being unhappy. I kept thinking if I could keep my eye on the pie (opening my own business) I could at least make money while I worked on the whole deal... But the pie just got further and further away. I came home grumpy, tired, feeling defeated by my day. A bottle of wine cured everything, and nothing except talking about it ever got done.
I kept putting it off. "I will read this book about bookstores" "I will start working on a business plan in a month or so... in spring... by next fall" never happened. I have had this idea for well over a year now... and nothing. Just a clock ticking and a liver trying to come up for air occasionally.
So I quit.
I figured if there was anything to light a fire under my ass it would be to let go of my security blanket. The daily grind that makes us a comfortable living but truth was I/we were drinking and eating it all. Although, I do love good food and drink but I don't need it every night.
So here's where it gets tricky for me: I am a great and notorious procrastinator. (Admitting you have a problem is the first step)  I can hardly make a decision in a supermarket isle let alone on what move I need to make next. I shall revert back to prior sentance... I have NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT I AM DOING!!! So I am making lists and reorganizing my house... I figured if I can make order out of a cupboard or a drawer or my entire basement then maybe my brain can apply that to making order out of a business plan.
I may and should probably seek a mentor soon, even if it means paying for it but for now I have my "Small business for Dummies" and "How to open a Bookstore". Step in the right direction... right?
Oh and a Buddhism book so that I remember that I am a nice, humble, loving and loved, talented gal who should not worry so much about all the things that could or could not happen. Cause right "now", all is peachy keen.
Shit happens at any given moment and there is not a whole lot we can do about it, except roll with the punches... Is that enough cliches in one sentence?
Maybe I'll get that shit tattooed on my ribs so I always remember it...
j-